#13 – On delight vs. pleasure
What is the difference anyway?
Several years ago, I read these lines from one of Jack Gilbert’s poems.
“We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world.” – Jack Gilbert
I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment conveyed in these perfect words; however, a part of me that is more intellectual in nature started wondering, “Well, what is the exact difference between pleasure and delight?”
At some level, most of us know that pleasure and delight are two different things; and yet, for me, both of these things register themselves as pleasurable, so sometimes I was not even sure if I was correctly distinguishing between the two.
But in the last few years, I started paying a little closer attention to what I am experiencing so as to attune myself to the difference. And I’ve found that learning to distinguish between the two has led me to greater happiness.
At this point in my life, I think of delight as my friend and pleasure as my frenemy (friend+enemy). Don’t get me wrong! I have nothing against pleasure. It’s just that I sometimes find that pleasure is a little bit finicky. Sometimes, it overpromises and underdelivers. Sometimes, it arrives so intensely, only to leave me so suddenly. Sometimes, it even morphs itself into pain.
So, while I always aim to be open-hearted and embracing of all delights in life, I always aspire to enjoy pleasures with a good dose of discrimination.
With this in mind, I’ve been trying to articulate to myself the difference between delight and pleasure. So far, what I’ve learned is this:
For me, the key difference is that delight is essentially associated with a heart-centric or a spirit-centric feeling (and not just physical sensation), while pleasure does not necessarily always include these former aspects.
For example, listening to a choir group sing is delightful for me. So is seeing the sunrise at dawn. So is watching the first snow of the year fall gently outside my window.
But, for pleasure, I usually associate it with physically oriented feelings. For example, I have a sweet tooth, and I love eating sugar. But I know (from not-so-sweet personal experience) that if I eat too much sugar, my next visit to the dentist isn’t going to go smoothly. So because I think of eating sugar as a pleasurable experience rather than a delightful one, I often remind myself to use discrimination before partaking in this pleasure, lest it decides to alchemize itself into pain.
Another distinguishing mark I have between delight and pleasure is how I feel about it afterwards – not immediately afterwards, but after some time. For me, a delightful thing is joyful while experiencing it and after experiencing it – it doesn’t make me regret it afterwards. If I read one of my favourite books, I am happy while reading it, and I’m also happy after reading it.
The same cannot always be said of pleasure. For example, if I overindulge myself by stimulation, it might feel pleasurable at the time, but I will likely feel deflated sometime later and will wish that I had not done so. So when a particular experience leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, I think of that experience as having been temporarily pleasurable rather than truly delightful, and I remind myself to use more discriminating judgment next time.
This is not to say that pleasure and delight are necessarily mutually exclusive. In some cases, they do overlap. Or maybe, delight is just a kind of pleasure with a tag that says, “No strings attached.” Who knows?
These are my thoughts on it at this point in time, but my views may evolve as time goes on. If you have other views on this subject, I’d welcome your input!
Thank you for being here. I wish you a delight-full weekend!
PS: Going for a walk by the lake on a sunny winter day is always a delightful experience! Here is a photo of Lake Ontario by yours truly.
